He’s variously known as the “Long Island Serial Killer;” “LISK;” “The Gilgo Beach Killer;” “A Really Bad Date;” “MAGA Man;” “My Favorite Mistake;” “Bad Hair Day;”“Trump’s Nephew.” His government name is Rex Heuermann. He’s been in all manner of newspaper; magazine; social media post; Substack; Internet; YouTube; television news; television documentaries; streaming this and that; and even radio. Especially lately.
Ever since he pled guilty to the heinous murders of seven women and took responsibility for an eighth – he’s been Mr. Illustrious. By the way no one believes that’s all he killed. His own harpooned Beluga Whale lawyer Michael Brown (he’s pale) wants to shout out, “he killed many more.” But legal ethics constrain him unless Peacock offers him a deal. Rex’s fame grew more so after his sentencing. But he’s been on a rocket ship of celeb ever since his arrest in July 2023.
I wrote Blog articles about Rex Heuermann. Meant to attract people to my lawyer website. So I could get clients. My firm went bankrupt.
You can imagine what I felt when I got an email from Rex Heuermann. I didn’t believe myself worthy. I even called the Suffolk County Sheriff’s Office where I spoke with the Sheriff himself.
“Yep Ray it’s real,” said Sheriff Toulon. “We were all shocked. Who the fuck are you.”
“No one.”
“I tell you who you are. You’re the only person Rex contacted after his sentencing. You must be somebody.”
I am not going to boast. I am simply going to provide Rex’s email verbatim with only one redaction unlike the Trump-Epstein Files. And leave it up to you. Am I somebody? Here it is … Rex’s Email … to me … Raymond Zuppa … It’s in Italics.
Well hello Ray.
It’s me Rexy. I really loved your Blog Posts since before I got arrested. Especially after the arrest. I had a lot of free time on my hands to really read and re-read the posts; and catch up on my wanking with the very entertaining sex killing books available in the jail library. You were right. Ole Rexy is MAGA and Nazi. How’d you guess. Because I lived in Massapequa?
I really wasn’t too happy about how the so called victims’ family members laid into Rexy at the sentencing. And what’s up with that Guido Judge Mazzei insinuating that I’m not a real man. Thoroughly not professional! Very unprofessional. Many told me it was “bread. Circus. Theatre. And misdirection.” People have said that what they did to me “obscures the real problems on Long Island.” Cops only make 400 thousand dollars a year. They deserve so very much more I am told by the President of their union Lou “Dago” Civello. Many people say, “The snow flake, communist, tranny loving, teachers are the ones killing us with their bloated salaries.”
Oh it’s true that ole Rexy might have taken a few liberties with some young ladies. But they were nasty hookers. Lower class people. Not of my station. Not of my class. Meant to be sheared, culled and harvested. Nobody cared until some dweeb named Kolker authored a bookcalled “Lost Girls.” How damned unoriginal. He took that from the Brat Pack vampire movie made in the 80s. That would be “Lost Boys.” (So unprofessional) And then all the streaming this and streaming that. Now all of a sudden everyone cares. A bunch of Snowflake feminist tranny loving dikes. And Kolker’s prose really stunk up the place too, worse than his shieza title.
You know Rex created a sense of community for all the middle-aged women with rape fantasies that joined Facebook Groups dedicated to catching me or understanding me. What’rethey going to do now. They’re not doing their husbands. Suckers, losers and dikes – I am told.
Well I have it on good authority that President Donald Trump himself is going to pardon me. Just as soon as this whole Iran mess is over. And President Trump’s going to give me millions of dollars just like Peacock gave my wife and her grease ball ginzo attorney Macedonio. Because ole Rex has been persecuted just like the boys that defecated inside the Capitol.
Rex is the modern cool kind of Conservative. A MAGA tough guy. A cultural icon like Joe Rogan and Andrew Tate. What’s different about this new breed of conservative MAGA tough guyRaymond? Well we talk smack a lot. Like MMA fighters. You know – “Sooner or later all fights end up on the ground;” “It’s the closest thing to a real fight [My note: except you can’t kick someone when they’re on the ground; you can’t poke their eyes out; rip their ears off; crush their tracheas; rip off their ball sacks; bite off their nose or carotid artery; pull their hair; etc.]”
And for further example – stop interrupting me Raymond – it used to be that Conservatives didn’t like Jews. Especially German Conservatives like me. But ever since guys like Jeffrey Epstein, Harvey Weinstein and Benjamin Netanyahu – boy that fella really lets those sand [deleted racial epitaph] have it. Blows them up. Shoots them. Burns them. Rapes them. Especially the female children. Well ever since I started following them fellas I understand the true meaning of Judaism. My antisemitism went down the drain like the blood of a dismembered hooker. And why’d you delete the racial epitaph Raymond. You don’t believe in the First Amendment?
Well I have to go now. I think I’ll be meeting my friend Joel Rifkin soon. But you rest assured that this is not the end of ole Rexy. When President Trump pardons me the first thing I am going to do is visit all of those loved ones that were so mean to me in Court. And I am going to ass rape the lot of them. Then hang them from a ceiling and perform grisly mutilations. I’m staying away from you because I can tell from what you write and the way you write it – you’re not right in the Kopf.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.
Yours Always
Rex “Orange” Heuermann XOXO
I thought it a heartfelt … the email … to me … Raymond Zuppa … I am somebody.